Mindfulness 2: You Control Your Mind & Experiences

Mindfulness 2: You Control Your Mind & Experiences

OBSERVE
The first "What" skill is observing. Attending to events, emotions and other behavior responses without trying to judge or put a value on them, we allow ourselves to experience with awareness. We are present and in the moment: mindful.

§  Notice the experience for what it is

§  Experience without reacting to your experience

§  Have a Teflon mind letting experiences, feelings and thoughts come in and out of your mind. Just notice them.

§  Be flexible in your attitudes/beliefs

§  Notice each feeling rising and falling like waves in the ocean; calm and without judgment or criticism

§  Notice what comes through your senses: your eyes, ears, nose, mouth

§  See others' actions and expressions

§  Smell the roses

DESCRIBE
This is the second step in being mindful and staying present. We can also use the describing skill to apply verbal labels to feelings. Being able to verbally describe events and feelings is necessary for avoiding emotional hijacking. Describing rationally reinforces our balanced position in Wise Mind. "Thoughts are just thoughts, feelings are just feelings." Try to describe from a rational/factual place without judgment.

§  Put words on the experience

§  Put experiences into words

§  Put a name on your feelings – don’t stuff them

§  When a feeling or thought arises, or you take action, acknowledge it

§  Thoughts are just thoughts/feelings are just feelings. Don't get caught in content or escalate

§  Stay in Rational or Wise Mind. Observe and describe facts. Without judgment, acknowledge what is

PARTICIPATE
Mindful participation is about being totally present when engaging in an activity. By participating with awareness, we can be in the moment, which allows us to step back from our lives and our thoughts. Linehan says that participation without awareness is a characteristic of impulsive and mood dependent behaviors. Ultimately we want to be able to participate without self-consciousness and the 3 “What” skills flow together.

§  Enter into your experience

§  Let yourself get involved in the moment, letting go of ruminating

§  Become one with your experience, completely forgetting yourself

§  Act intuitively from Wise Mind

§  Naturally do just what is needed in each situation, like a skillful dancer on the dance floor, be one with the music and your partner

§  Actively practice your skills as you learn them until they become a part of you, so that you use them without self-consciousness

§  Action/participation becomes effortless

DISCUSSION (Optional)

±Can you think of a situation in your life in which using the “What” skills might have kept you in Wise Mind and been helpful? How do you think the outcome would have been different? Can you make a plan to use it in a situation that is upcoming and might be difficult?

±Today pick one experience that you have - cooking a meal, going for a walk, walking your dog, watching a TV show.  Observe the experience, without judging or evaluating it. Describe what you are doing or seeing, hearing or touching. Give words to your feelings. Keep them free of judgments or evaluations. Can you see that your thoughts and feelings about the experience are separate from the experience itself and that describing keeps you in a rational space?

±Try mindfully participating in something you do frequently. Concentrate and really pay attention to fully and mindfully engaging in your activity. What does it feel like for you?