DBT 8: Emotion Regulation & Reducing Vulnerability

What is Emotion Regulation?

Our emotions can frequently be very intense and labile, which means they change often. Our emotions often drive our behavior. A lot of our behavior focuses around finding ways to get our emotions validated or to get rid of the pain in some way.  Because of this, learning to regulate emotions is a central part of DBT. This does not mean that the emotions are invalid, and it does not mean that we are trying to get rid of them.  They are valid and important. But because emotions can cause pain or make us feeling out of control, we are going to first learn some things about our emotions and where they come from, and then we will learn some techniques about managing our emotions, reducing our vulnerability to negative emotions, and learning to experience some positive emotions so that we can keep things in perspective and stay in Wise Mind as much as possible.

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Primary and Secondary Emotions

There are primary and secondary emotions. The secondary emotion is the one that follows the primary or first emotion, for example, feeling shame because you got angry.  Anger is the primary emotion, and shame is the secondary emotion. A person can get angry for being angry, or depressed for being depressed, or angry for feeling fear.  In these three cases, anger, depression and anger are the secondary emotions.  It's important to be able to tell which emotions are the primary emotions and which are the secondary emotions.  Neither are good or bad, but to get back to the original problem and work on solving it, it is necessary usually to deal with the primary emotions.

The Function Of Emotions  Until we begin to understand the functions of emotions, why we have them, what their effect is on others, we cannot expect ourselves to change them.

DBT looks at three major functions of emotions:
1. Emotions Communicate to and Influence Others.
2. Emotions Organize and Motivate Action
3. Emotions Can be Self-Validating

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Emotions Communicate to and Influence Others.  We communicate our emotions to other with verbal and non-verbal language. Some expressions of emotion have an automatic effect on others. When there is a difference in what a person communicates non-verbally versus verbally, the other person will usually respond to the non-verbal expression. Non-verbal emotional expressions do not always match inside feelings so people can misunderstand what we are feeling.

Emotions Organize and Motivate Action  Emotions prepare for and motivate action. There is an action urge connected to specific emotions that is hard-wired. Emotions can also help us overcome obstacles in our environment. An example is the anxiety someone feels when they are about to take a test. This anxiety, though it's uncomfortable, helps to motivate you to study so you will do well on the test.

Emotions Can be Self-Validating Emotions can give us information about a situation or event. They can signal to us that something is going on.  Sometimes signals about a situation will be picked up unconsciously, and then we may have an emotional reaction, but not be sure what set off the reaction. Feeling "something doesn't feel right about this" or "I had a feeling something was going to happen and it did" are some of the signals we might get.  It can be difficult for people to acknowledge these emotions, because we have been in invalidating environments -- so much that we don't trust our emotions. If our emotions are minimized or invalidated, it's hard to get our needs taken seriously. So we may increase the intensity of our emotions in order to get our needs met. And then if we decrease the intensity of our emotions, we may find again that we are not taken seriously.

Describing Emotions.  Emotions involve what we call action urges. An important function of emotions is to prompt behaviors. For example if we feel angry, we may be prompted to fight. Or if we feel fear, we may be prompted to run or flee. The action itself, the fighting, or running, or hugging is not part of the emotion, but the urge to do the action, the feeling that prompts you to do the action, is considered part of the feeling.

Prompting Event. Emotions can be either reactions to events in the environment or to things inside a person. These events and things are called PROMPTING EVENTS. They prompt, or call forth the emotion. A person's thoughts, behaviors and physical reactions prompt emotions. Prompting events can be events happening in the present or a memory, a thought, or even another feeling (we feel ashamed, and then feel angry about feeling ashamed, for example). In managing our emotions, it is important to be able to recognize prompting events.

Interpretation of an Event or Experience.  Most events outside ourselves don't prompt emotions. It is the interpretation of the event that prompts the emotion. Can you see that the emotion comes after the interpretation is made, after you have the thought about the reason something is happening?

Body Changes.  Emotions involve body changes such as tensing and relaxing muscles, changes in heart rate, breathing rate, skin temperature, rises and falls in blood pressure, etc.  When we experience emotions, there are changes in our bodies. To regulate our emotions we have to be pretty good at sensing what is going on in our bodies. If we have practiced shutting off our body sensations, this can be difficult. However it is a learned response and we can unlearn it by practicing something else.

Action Urges.  An important thing that emotions do is to prompt behaviors. An action urge may be to fight or attack verbally in anger, or to flee or hide in fear, etc.  What are some action urges that you might have for these emotions: anger, fear, sadness, shame, disgust, surprise, etc.?

Expression and Communication.  One of the most important functions of emotions is to COMMUNICATE. To communicate something, an emotion has to be expressed. Sometimes, if we have not learned to express our emotions, we may think we are communicating but the other person isn't getting it. This can cause misunderstanding. Emotions are expressed by facial expressions, words and actions. Expressing emotions through behaviors can also cause problems, because different people interpret behaviors in different ways.

After Effects.  Emotions have after effects on our thoughts, our physical function and our behavior. Sometimes these effects can last quite a while. One after effect is that an emotion can keep triggering the same emotion over and over.

Reducing Vulnerability To Negative Emotion

This is a skills that we can use to keep ourselves less vulnerable to having negative emotions, and less likely to get into a state of Emotion Mind, where emotions control our thoughts and actions.  These skills are things that affect your physical and your mental well-being. If we are feeling sick, hungry, tired, under the influence of drugs, don't get much exercise or aren't doing something in our day that gives us a sense of mastery or accomplishment, we are more likely to be vulnerable to negative emotions, to experience or see the negative than the positive, less able to handle situations and interactions with our Wise Mind.
Linehan uses this chart as a way of remembering these skills, with the phrase "P L E A S E  M A S T E R."

treat PhysicaL illness
balance Eating
avoid mood-Altering drugs
balance Sleep
get Exercise
build M A S T E R y

P & L: Treat Physical illness  Do you have a physical illness that needs to be tended to? What things keep you from treating your physical illness? Take some time to think about this, and see what it would take for you to take care of your physical needs.

E: Balance Eating  How well do you eat? What kinds of food do you eat? What foods make you feel good? Calm? Energized? What foods make you feel bad? How does eating a lot of sugar make you feel? Caffeine? The key here is to eat foods that are healthy and that make you feel good.

A: Avoid Mood-Altering Drugs  Alcohol and drugs can lower resistance to certain negative emotions. For example, I found that when I drank alcohol, I felt more depressed and sometimes more frightened. If you use drugs or alcohol, notice how they make you feel.

S: Balance Sleep  How much sleep makes you feel good? Some people do fine on 5-6 hours, others need 9-10 hours. Some people need to nap during the day. Learn to plan your schedule so that you get the sleep you need.

E: Get Exercise  Regular exercise, besides being good for your heart, lungs, muscles and bones, stimulates endorphins in your brain which are natural antidepressants. We are talking about aerobic exercise, the kind that makes you out of breath.

MASTER: Build MASTERY  Do things every day that make you feel competent, confident, that you are good at something or are learning something. What kinds of things are you good at doing? Can you learn a new skill? What kinds of things give you a sense of mastery, of being good at something or meeting a challenge? Sometimes these things will be a little bit hard or challenging.

http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/print014.html

For more information about DBT, please visit the following links or Google Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com
http://www.behavioraltech.org