Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Welcome to the hub page for "How to Create Happiness," an exclusive online course only available on Intent.com.
The online course is divided into two parts. Part I is composed of 8 lessons and based on the book "The Ultimate Happiness Prescription: 7 Keys to Joy and Enlightenment" by Deepak Chopra.Part II is composed of 8 lessons and based on the book "The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to getting the Life You Want" by Sonja Lyubomirsky. By combining the spiritual principles of happiness with the scientifically proven research behind happiness, this online course strives to offer a more holistic approach to your lasting joy and inner peace.
Get Notified When the Full Course Launches
PART I: The Ultimate Happiness Prescription By Deepak Chopra
- The First Key: Be Aware Of Your Body
- The Second Key: Find True Self-Esteem
- The Third Key: Detoxify Your Life
- The Fourth Key: Give Up Being Right
- The Fifth Key: Focus On the Present
- The Sixth Key: See the World In Yourself
- The Seventh Key: Live For Enlightenment
PART II: The How of Happiness By Sonja Lyubomirsky
- Lesson 1: Introduction: How Happy Are You?
- Lesson 2: Practicing Gratitude and Positive Thinking
- Lesson 3: Avoiding Overthinking and Social Comparison
- Lesson 4: Investing in Social Connections
- Lesson 5: Managing Stress, Hardship and Trauma
- Lesson 6: Living In The Present
- Lesson 7: Taking Care of Your Body and Soul
- Lesson 8: The Five Hows Behind Sustainable Happiness
Want to learn happiness through your iPhone? Signal Patterns, developers has two new iPhone applications based on the works of Deepak Chopra and Sonja Lyubomirsky. The first, Stress Free, combines rich content with interactive stress reducing exercise and is the product of collaboration between Deepak Chopra and Signal Patterns. More information can be found here:www.DeepakChopraMobile.com.
The second app, Live Happy, is a positive psychology iPhone app developed by Signal Patterns together with Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, which lets users follow a set of empirically-proven methods to increase short and long term happiness. More on Live Happy may be found at www.LiveHappyApp.com.
Free Deepak Chopra Webinar, January 12th 3pm
For the Chopra Center’s first-ever webinar, David Simon, Amanda Linkul, and Libby Carstensen will explore timeless teachings for spiritual awakening, emotional wellbeing, and true happiness.
The live discussion will offer insight into the tools and practices taught at the Chopra Center’s signature meditation retreat, Seduction of Spirit. The webinar will focus on the practice of meditation, including:
- The power of meditation to connect us to expanded states of awareness
- The latest scientific research on meditation
- Common misconceptions about meditation
- What it’s like to experience a meditation retreat
- How meditation relieves stress, anxiety, and depression
- Why meditation helps slow the aging process
- Developing your own daily meditation practice
- Meditation as a profound tool for accessing your inner wisdom
- And more!
Join us for this inspiring, engaging discussion and learn how you can awaken to your own spiritual wisdom.
Register Now
21 Day Consciousness Cleanse
A great way to start the new year and refocus! 21 Day Consciousness Cleanse
Saturday, January 9, 2010
DBT 8: Emotion Regulation & Reducing Vulnerability
What is Emotion Regulation?
Our emotions can frequently be very intense and labile, which means they change often. Our emotions often drive our behavior. A lot of our behavior focuses around finding ways to get our emotions validated or to get rid of the pain in some way. Because of this, learning to regulate emotions is a central part of DBT. This does not mean that the emotions are invalid, and it does not mean that we are trying to get rid of them. They are valid and important. But because emotions can cause pain or make us feeling out of control, we are going to first learn some things about our emotions and where they come from, and then we will learn some techniques about managing our emotions, reducing our vulnerability to negative emotions, and learning to experience some positive emotions so that we can keep things in perspective and stay in Wise Mind as much as possible.
Primary and Secondary Emotions
There are primary and secondary emotions. The secondary emotion is the one that follows the primary or first emotion, for example, feeling shame because you got angry. Anger is the primary emotion, and shame is the secondary emotion. A person can get angry for being angry, or depressed for being depressed, or angry for feeling fear. In these three cases, anger, depression and anger are the secondary emotions. It's important to be able to tell which emotions are the primary emotions and which are the secondary emotions. Neither are good or bad, but to get back to the original problem and work on solving it, it is necessary usually to deal with the primary emotions.
The Function Of Emotions Until we begin to understand the functions of emotions, why we have them, what their effect is on others, we cannot expect ourselves to change them.
DBT looks at three major functions of emotions:
1. Emotions Communicate to and Influence Others.
2. Emotions Organize and Motivate Action
3. Emotions Can be Self-Validating
DBT looks at three major functions of emotions:
1. Emotions Communicate to and Influence Others.
2. Emotions Organize and Motivate Action
3. Emotions Can be Self-Validating
Emotions Communicate to and Influence Others. We communicate our emotions to other with verbal and non-verbal language. Some expressions of emotion have an automatic effect on others. When there is a difference in what a person communicates non-verbally versus verbally, the other person will usually respond to the non-verbal expression. Non-verbal emotional expressions do not always match inside feelings so people can misunderstand what we are feeling.
Emotions Organize and Motivate Action Emotions prepare for and motivate action. There is an action urge connected to specific emotions that is hard-wired. Emotions can also help us overcome obstacles in our environment. An example is the anxiety someone feels when they are about to take a test. This anxiety, though it's uncomfortable, helps to motivate you to study so you will do well on the test.
Emotions Can be Self-Validating Emotions can give us information about a situation or event. They can signal to us that something is going on. Sometimes signals about a situation will be picked up unconsciously, and then we may have an emotional reaction, but not be sure what set off the reaction. Feeling "something doesn't feel right about this" or "I had a feeling something was going to happen and it did" are some of the signals we might get. It can be difficult for people to acknowledge these emotions, because we have been in invalidating environments -- so much that we don't trust our emotions. If our emotions are minimized or invalidated, it's hard to get our needs taken seriously. So we may increase the intensity of our emotions in order to get our needs met. And then if we decrease the intensity of our emotions, we may find again that we are not taken seriously.
Emotions Can be Self-Validating Emotions can give us information about a situation or event. They can signal to us that something is going on. Sometimes signals about a situation will be picked up unconsciously, and then we may have an emotional reaction, but not be sure what set off the reaction. Feeling "something doesn't feel right about this" or "I had a feeling something was going to happen and it did" are some of the signals we might get. It can be difficult for people to acknowledge these emotions, because we have been in invalidating environments -- so much that we don't trust our emotions. If our emotions are minimized or invalidated, it's hard to get our needs taken seriously. So we may increase the intensity of our emotions in order to get our needs met. And then if we decrease the intensity of our emotions, we may find again that we are not taken seriously.
Describing Emotions. Emotions involve what we call action urges. An important function of emotions is to prompt behaviors. For example if we feel angry, we may be prompted to fight. Or if we feel fear, we may be prompted to run or flee. The action itself, the fighting, or running, or hugging is not part of the emotion, but the urge to do the action, the feeling that prompts you to do the action, is considered part of the feeling.
Prompting Event. Emotions can be either reactions to events in the environment or to things inside a person. These events and things are called PROMPTING EVENTS. They prompt, or call forth the emotion. A person's thoughts, behaviors and physical reactions prompt emotions. Prompting events can be events happening in the present or a memory, a thought, or even another feeling (we feel ashamed, and then feel angry about feeling ashamed, for example). In managing our emotions, it is important to be able to recognize prompting events.
Interpretation of an Event or Experience. Most events outside ourselves don't prompt emotions. It is the interpretation of the event that prompts the emotion. Can you see that the emotion comes after the interpretation is made, after you have the thought about the reason something is happening?
Prompting Event. Emotions can be either reactions to events in the environment or to things inside a person. These events and things are called PROMPTING EVENTS. They prompt, or call forth the emotion. A person's thoughts, behaviors and physical reactions prompt emotions. Prompting events can be events happening in the present or a memory, a thought, or even another feeling (we feel ashamed, and then feel angry about feeling ashamed, for example). In managing our emotions, it is important to be able to recognize prompting events.
Interpretation of an Event or Experience. Most events outside ourselves don't prompt emotions. It is the interpretation of the event that prompts the emotion. Can you see that the emotion comes after the interpretation is made, after you have the thought about the reason something is happening?
Body Changes. Emotions involve body changes such as tensing and relaxing muscles, changes in heart rate, breathing rate, skin temperature, rises and falls in blood pressure, etc. When we experience emotions, there are changes in our bodies. To regulate our emotions we have to be pretty good at sensing what is going on in our bodies. If we have practiced shutting off our body sensations, this can be difficult. However it is a learned response and we can unlearn it by practicing something else.
Action Urges. An important thing that emotions do is to prompt behaviors. An action urge may be to fight or attack verbally in anger, or to flee or hide in fear, etc. What are some action urges that you might have for these emotions: anger, fear, sadness, shame, disgust, surprise, etc.?
Expression and Communication. One of the most important functions of emotions is to COMMUNICATE. To communicate something, an emotion has to be expressed. Sometimes, if we have not learned to express our emotions, we may think we are communicating but the other person isn't getting it. This can cause misunderstanding. Emotions are expressed by facial expressions, words and actions. Expressing emotions through behaviors can also cause problems, because different people interpret behaviors in different ways.
After Effects. Emotions have after effects on our thoughts, our physical function and our behavior. Sometimes these effects can last quite a while. One after effect is that an emotion can keep triggering the same emotion over and over.
Reducing Vulnerability To Negative Emotion
This is a skills that we can use to keep ourselves less vulnerable to having negative emotions, and less likely to get into a state of Emotion Mind, where emotions control our thoughts and actions. These skills are things that affect your physical and your mental well-being. If we are feeling sick, hungry, tired, under the influence of drugs, don't get much exercise or aren't doing something in our day that gives us a sense of mastery or accomplishment, we are more likely to be vulnerable to negative emotions, to experience or see the negative than the positive, less able to handle situations and interactions with our Wise Mind.
Linehan uses this chart as a way of remembering these skills, with the phrase "P L E A S E M A S T E R."
treat PhysicaL illness
balance Eating
avoid mood-Altering drugs
balance Sleep
get Exercise
build M A S T E R y
Linehan uses this chart as a way of remembering these skills, with the phrase "P L E A S E M A S T E R."
treat PhysicaL illness
balance Eating
avoid mood-Altering drugs
balance Sleep
get Exercise
build M A S T E R y
P & L: Treat Physical illness Do you have a physical illness that needs to be tended to? What things keep you from treating your physical illness? Take some time to think about this, and see what it would take for you to take care of your physical needs.
E: Balance Eating How well do you eat? What kinds of food do you eat? What foods make you feel good? Calm? Energized? What foods make you feel bad? How does eating a lot of sugar make you feel? Caffeine? The key here is to eat foods that are healthy and that make you feel good.
A: Avoid Mood-Altering Drugs Alcohol and drugs can lower resistance to certain negative emotions. For example, I found that when I drank alcohol, I felt more depressed and sometimes more frightened. If you use drugs or alcohol, notice how they make you feel.
S: Balance Sleep How much sleep makes you feel good? Some people do fine on 5-6 hours, others need 9-10 hours. Some people need to nap during the day. Learn to plan your schedule so that you get the sleep you need.
E: Get Exercise Regular exercise, besides being good for your heart, lungs, muscles and bones, stimulates endorphins in your brain which are natural antidepressants. We are talking about aerobic exercise, the kind that makes you out of breath.
MASTER: Build MASTERY Do things every day that make you feel competent, confident, that you are good at something or are learning something. What kinds of things are you good at doing? Can you learn a new skill? What kinds of things give you a sense of mastery, of being good at something or meeting a challenge? Sometimes these things will be a little bit hard or challenging.
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/print014.html
For more information about DBT, please visit the following links or Google Dialectical Behavior Therapy.
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com
http://www.behavioraltech.org
http://www.dbtselfhelp.com
http://www.behavioraltech.org
Thursday, January 7, 2010
DBT 7: Distress Tolerance
Distress module provides important tools to help you to return to Wise Mind when your emotions become too powerful. These are not permanent avoidance tactics. They are simple and important outs which will allow you a breather so that you can refocus, return to mindfulness and act effectively. Important in this too are tools for self soothing and handling painful situations in non-judgmental ways. They help you to accept reality even if you don’t approve of what’s going on.
Distress Tolerance: Crisis Survival Strategies
DBT teaches us four sets of skills for tolerating (dealing with, getting through, accepting) the distressing events and activities in our lives. We can think of these as Crisis Survival Strategies. Some of them will fit and feel right, others won’t. Out of these skills, it is recommended to try them all and identify which especially work or apply to you. They are:
· Distracting - Wise Mind ACCEPTS
· Self-Soothing
· Improving the Moment
· Thinking of Pros and Cons
DBT emphasizes learning to handle difficult situations skillfully. The ability to tolerate and accept distress is an essential mental health goal for at least two reasons.
1. Pain and distress are a part of life; they cannot be entirely avoided or removed. The inability to accept this immutable fact itself leads to increased pain and suffering.
2. Distress tolerance, at least over the short run, is part and parcel of any attempt to change oneself; otherwise, impulsive actions will interfere with efforts to establish desired changes.
Although the stance advocated here is a nonjudgmental one, this should not be understood to mean that it is one of approval. It is especially important that this distinction be made clear to clients: Acceptance of reality is not equivalent to approval of reality.
Although the stance advocated here is a nonjudgmental one, this should not be understood to mean that it is one of approval. It is especially important that this distinction be made clear to clients: Acceptance of reality is not equivalent to approval of reality.
Crisis Survival Strategies The following are techniques to give you a break from dealing with negative emotions temporarily. They give you a break and allow you to transition from emotional mind to wise mind in order to effectively handle the situation.
DISTRACT (to reduce contact with emotional stimuli )
A useful way to remember these skills is the phrase Wise Mind ACCEPTS
A useful way to remember these skills is the phrase Wise Mind ACCEPTS
Distract with Activities: Activity raises endorphin levels and gets you out of the crisis situation for a while. Do hobbies, watch a video, go for a walk, play a sport, cook, garden, go fishing, go shopping.
· What other activities can you think of that you can get involved in and distract yourself from your distress? Make a list of your activities and keep that handy so that you can relate to it when needed.
Distract with Contributing: Do volunteer work and contribute. Babysit so a friend can go out. Do something nice or surprisingly thoughtful for someone.
· What have you done this week to contribute? What can you do next week to contribute? Plan something in advance. This takes you away from your pain and puts your attention on your concern for someone else.
Distract with Comparisons: Compare yourself to people coping the same as or less well than you. If you are doing better than you were a year or two ago, make that comparison. Watch disaster movies, watch soap operas, or a hospital waiting room. Some people find this helpful, others don't. Just do what works for you.
Distract with opposite Emotions. Do something to evoke the opposite emotion to what you are feeling. If you are sad, watch a comedy or amusing anecdote. This helps to put you in a different place.
With Pushing Away (use this skill last - as a tuning out): Push the situation away by leaving it for a while, leave the situation mentally or physically. Build an imaginary wall between yourself and the situation or push the situation away by blocking it out of your mind. Censor ruminating. Refuse to think about the painful aspects of the situation. Put the pain on a shelf. Box it up and put it away for a while.
Distract with opposite Emotions. Do something to evoke the opposite emotion to what you are feeling. If you are sad, watch a comedy or amusing anecdote. This helps to put you in a different place.
With Pushing Away (use this skill last - as a tuning out): Push the situation away by leaving it for a while, leave the situation mentally or physically. Build an imaginary wall between yourself and the situation or push the situation away by blocking it out of your mind. Censor ruminating. Refuse to think about the painful aspects of the situation. Put the pain on a shelf. Box it up and put it away for a while.
Distract with other Thoughts This is essentially a mini-meditation. Some examples are counting to 10 or counting the tiles in a floor or the panes in a window or the stars in the sky, anything to keep your focus on the counting. This is a good one to use in a sudden emergency, when you need to pull something out of your bag of tricks really quickly. You may also try reading, watching TV or movies, doing crossword puzzles, writing poetry.
Distract with other Sensations. (other intense sensations): Hold ice in your hand, squeeze a rubber ball very hard, take a hot shower, listen to loud music, sex, snap a rubber band on your wrist, suck on a lemon. Any of these will help you to avert crisis.
Again, these are not permanent avoidance techniques. They are tools and avenues to take when your emotions are too hot to act effectively. They are good transitions back to wise mind and mentally give you a break from a difficult situation.
SELF SOOTHE A way to remember these skills is to think of soothing each of your FIVE SENSES
With VISION:
Buy one beautiful flower, make one space in a room pretty, light a candle and watch the flame. Set a pretty place at the table, using your best things for a meal. Go to a museum with beautiful art. Go sit in the lobby of a beautiful old hotel. Look at nature around you. Go out in the middle of the night and watch the stars. Walk in a pretty part of the town. Fix your nails so they look pretty. Look at beautiful pictures in a book. Go to a ballet or other dance performance, or watch one on TV. Be mindful of each sight that passes in front of you, not lingering on any. Notice your appreciation.
Buy one beautiful flower, make one space in a room pretty, light a candle and watch the flame. Set a pretty place at the table, using your best things for a meal. Go to a museum with beautiful art. Go sit in the lobby of a beautiful old hotel. Look at nature around you. Go out in the middle of the night and watch the stars. Walk in a pretty part of the town. Fix your nails so they look pretty. Look at beautiful pictures in a book. Go to a ballet or other dance performance, or watch one on TV. Be mindful of each sight that passes in front of you, not lingering on any. Notice your appreciation.
With HEARING:
Listen to beautiful or soothing music, or to invigorating and exciting music. Pay attention to sounds of nature like waves, birds rainfall, rustling leaves. Sing your favorite songs, hum a soothing tune, learn to play an instrument. Call 800 or other information numbers to hear a human voice. Be mindful of any sounds that come your way, letting them go in one ear and out the other.
With SMELL:
Use your favorite perfume or lotions, or try them on in the store, spray fragrance in the air, light a scented candle. Put lemon oil on your furniture. Put potpourris in a bowl in your room. Boil cinnamon, bake cookies, cake or bread. Smell the roses. Walk in a wooded area and mindfully breathe in the fresh smells of nature.
Use your favorite perfume or lotions, or try them on in the store, spray fragrance in the air, light a scented candle. Put lemon oil on your furniture. Put potpourris in a bowl in your room. Boil cinnamon, bake cookies, cake or bread. Smell the roses. Walk in a wooded area and mindfully breathe in the fresh smells of nature.
With TASTE:
Have a good meal, have a favorite soothing drink, such as herbal tea or hot chocolate (but no alcohol). Treat yourself to a dessert. Put whipped cream on your coffee. Sample flavors at an ice cream store. Suck on a piece of peppermint candy. Chew your favorite gum. Get a little bit of special food you don't usually spend the money on, such as fresh squeezed orange juice or organic vegetables. Really taste the food you eat, eating one thing mindfully and focusing on its taste.
Have a good meal, have a favorite soothing drink, such as herbal tea or hot chocolate (but no alcohol). Treat yourself to a dessert. Put whipped cream on your coffee. Sample flavors at an ice cream store. Suck on a piece of peppermint candy. Chew your favorite gum. Get a little bit of special food you don't usually spend the money on, such as fresh squeezed orange juice or organic vegetables. Really taste the food you eat, eating one thing mindfully and focusing on its taste.
With TOUCH: Experience whatever you are touching, notice that the touch is soothing. Take a bubble bath, put clean sheets on the bed, pet your dog or cat, have a massage, soak your feet, put creamy lotion on your whole body. Put a cold compress on your forehead, sink into a really comfortable chair in a hotel lobby or in your home, put on a silky blouse, dress, or scarf. Try on fur-lined gloves. Brush your hair for a long time. Hug someone.
IMPROVE THE MOMENT: A way to remember these skills is in the word IMPROVE
With IMAGERY: Imagine very relaxing scenes or soldiers fighting and winning. Imagine a secret room within yourself, seeing how it is decorated. Go into the room whenever you feel threatened. Close the door on anything that can hurt you. Imagine everything going well. Imagine coping well. Imagine hurtful emotions draining out of you like water out of a pipe.
With MEANING: Find or create some purpose, meaning or value in physical or emotional pain. Remember, listen to, or read about spiritual values. Focus on whatever positive aspects of a painful situation you can find. Repeat them over and over in your mind. Make lemonade out of lemons. Endurance is the lesson.
With PRAYER: Open your heart to spirituality. It could be a God, nature or your own wise mind for instance.
With RELAXATION: Try relaxing each large muscle group, starting with your hands and arms, going to the top of your head, and then working down. Listen to a relaxation tape, exercise hard, take a hot bath, or get a massage. Breathe deeply, half-smile, change your facial expression. Just the act of smiling will uplift you. Try a smile even when you are upset.
With ONE THING IN THE MOMENT: Focus your entire attention on just what you are doing right now. Keep yourself in the very moment you are in. Focus your entire attention on physical sensations that accompany nonjudgmental tasks. (e.g. walking, washing, doing dishes, cleaning, fixing). Be aware of how your body moves during each task. Do awareness exercises.
With VACATION: Give yourself a brief vacation. For instance, from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., get in bed and pull the covers over your head for 20 minutes. Rent a hotel room at the beach or in the woods for a day or two. Unplug your phone for a day, or let your answering machine screen your calls. Take a 1 hour breather from work that needs to be done. Look at a magazine, bundle up in a chair, eat slowly. Allow yourself to be a kid again - take a break from adulthood.
With ENCOURAGEMENT: Cheer lead yourself. Repeat over and over: “I can make it. This won't last forever. I will make it out of this. I'm doing the best I can. I can do it. There’s a lesson to learn here.”
Thinking of PROS and CONS
· Make a list of the pros and cons of tolerating the distress. Make another list of the pros and cons of not tolerating the distress - that is, of coping by hurting yourself, abusing alcohol, or drugs, or doing something else impulsive.
· Focus on long-term goals, the light at the end of the tunnel. Remember times when pain has ended. Think of the positive consequences of tolerating the distress.
· Imagine in your mind how good you will feel if you achieve your goals, if you don't act impulsively.
· Think of all of the negative consequences of not tolerating your current distress. Remember what has happened in the past when you have acted impulsively to escape the moment. Ask yourself, “Will this event that is distressing me going to matter in 5 years?”
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